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Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Congratulations to the Emir of Qatar

Copy of email sent the Qatar Embassy in London

Dear Ambassador,

I would to like send my congratulations to your new Emir, Sheikh Tamim bin Khalifa al Thanion, for taking over from his father and maintaining the integrity of the dynasty.  I am sure the people of Qatar are equally delighted and pleased at avoiding the degrading process of going to election booths to decide for themselves.  

I can’t help but notice how young and virile your new leader is. At 33 years old he is just a bit older than Kim Jong Un; another person who successfully is maintaining a family dynasty. Not that I would ever suggest there is any comparison between the two.  

I will be posting this email on my blog if you want to have a look. The address is It would be nice if your new Emir could get chance to read it. However it is blocked in Qatar. Please pass the link on to him so that when he flies to the UK in his private jet he can read it.  I know that he will busy with his investments here, but it won’t take too much of his time.

I am sure that your censors must have made a mistake.  I only write on climate change, the military industrial complex, human rights, war and the linkages between them. I am sure that these are all topics dear to your new Sheikh’s heart. 

I know he must be interested in climate change as Qatar was proud to invite people from all over the world for last the climate change conference.  I do understand that under your chairmanship it disastrously delivered nothing and moved the world one step closer to cooking; still mistakes like this can happen to the best of us.  I also hope your new Emir is not too embarrassed by ruling a country with the world’s highest per capita carbon footprint when runaway climate change is killing thousands of people by the day.  Hopefully, the comfort of his private jets and luxury homes will stop him worrying too much.

I would also like to wish your new Sheikh good luck with all the new military hardware he is buying. I am sure it will keep him very happy. I also understand that some of your military big wigs are coming to our Fairford Air Tattoo this year to buy even more stuff. With a bit of luck I might be able to meet them to ask how their arms sales will protect your country and the world from climate change. I don’t quite understand how they will, but as your new Emir is so clever I am sure he can explain it. Good job that your country managed to derail climate change talks and you kept your oil and gas sales up, because without these you could never buy all this hardware.

Pass my congratulations to your new Emir on securing the World Cup and I hope your bid for the Olympics is successful. Qatar is a much better place for these events than Brazil as you don’t have to worry about impoverishing your people. They are all filthy rich and if they did complain you can always shoot them.  The people impoverished through the climate change these events help us ignore all live in poor or war torn countries, such as Syria, Lybia, Tunisa and Eygpt which have all suffered massive food price spikes. Wait a minute, isn’t that the Arab Spring countries whose revolutions Qatar did so much to support? Maybe I am making a silly mistake.

Anyway, enough of this. All I can say is good luck to your Emir’s continued abuse of human rights and conspicuous consumption. May he continue to buy lots of weapons to secure his hold on power and keep our most destructive corporations in power.

I am sure you must be delighted to be representing him,

Kevin Lister